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Phelan Chapel - Strategies to keep from falling 01

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  • 896
  Strategies to keep from falling
  Practical steps to maintain your purity and ministry.

 -Randy C. Alcorn
  출처 http://www.christianity.net/leadership/classics/6L3047.html

 Of  all  the  articles  Leadership  has  published,  this  may  be  the  most
photocopied. We  still get  requests for  it, eight  years later,  because the
author offered  specific, practical steps  for handling a  common and powerful
temptation.

 When we  decided to reprint  it, we asked  Randy what has  happened since the
article first appeared. He writes: "I  wasn't prepared for the extent to which
this  article would  strike  a  resonant chord  among  pastors and  parachurch
workers around the world.
 Professors distributed copies  to students, missions organizations circulated
it to their  fields, pastors quoted sections from  the pulpit, radio preachers
read the list of immorality's consequences.

 "One pastor  left this message on  my answering machine: 'Just  wanted you to
know that I was on the verge  of committing adultery with a woman in my church
when I read  your booklet [based on  the article]. God used it  to get hold of
me. I  cut off the  relationship and straightened  out my  life before tragedy
struck. I just wanted to say thanks.'"

 "Something terrible has  happened." The tense voice  was my friend's, calling
from across the country.
 "Yesterday our pastor left his wife and ran off with another woman."
 I was sad, but not shocked or even surprised.
 Fifteen years ago I would have  been shocked. Ten years ago I would have been
surprised.  But I've  heard  the same  story too  many  times now  ever  to be
surprised again.

 I recently spoke on sexual purity  at a Bible college. During that week, many
students came for counseling, including three I'll call Rachel, Barb, and Pam.

 Rachel got right to the point: "My  parents sent me to one of our pastors for
counseling, and  I ended up  sleeping with him."  Later the same  day, Barb, a
church leader's daughter,  told me through tears, "My dad  has had sex with me
for years, and now  he's starting on my sisters." The  next evening I met with
Pam. Her story?  "I came to Bible  college to get away from  an affair with my
pastor."
 For  every  well-known  Christian  television  personality  or  author  whose
impropriety  is  widely  publicized,  there  are any  number  of  lesser-known
pastors,  Bible teachers,  and parachurch  workers who  quietly resign  or are
fired  for sexual  immorality. Most  of  us can  name several.  The  myth that
ministers are morally  invulnerable dies slowly, however, even  in the face of
overwhelming evidence. But there never has been a mystical antibody that makes
us immune to sexual  sin. Even those of us who  haven't fallen know how fierce
is the struggle with temptation.

 Furthermore, ministry  brings with  it serious  built-in hazards,  moral land
mines that  can destroy us,  our families, and  our churches.  Among them: our
position  of influence  and that  strange  blend of  ego-feeding  flattery and
debilitating criticism, which  can fill us with either pride  or despair. As a
result,  our  perspective   can  be  warped,  our   resistance  to  temptation
diminished.
 In addition,  our endless tasks  and the consequent  disorienting fatigue can
make us oblivious to what's really happening to us.

 I recall with embarrassment my naivete  as a young pastor. Every time I heard
the stories of  Christian leaders falling into sexual  sin, I thought,It could
never happen to me.

 What level  of pride is  required to believe  that sexual  sin could overtake
Samson, David ("a  man after God's own heart"), Solomon,  and a host of modern
Christian leaders,  but notme? Paul's warning  in 1 Corinthians  10 deserves a
prominent place on our dashboards, desks, or Day-Timers: "If you think you are
standing firm, be careful that you don't fall."

 Fortunately, I  wised up.  The person who  believes he  or she will  never be
burglarized leaves doors and windows open and cash on top of the dresser.
 Likewise, the  one who  thinks the danger  isn't real invariably  takes risks
that wind  up proving costly. I  now live with the  frightening but powerfully
motivating knowledge  that Icould commit  sexual immorality.  I started taking
precautions tokeep it from happening to me.

 Monitoring my spiritual pulse. Often those who fall into sexual sin can point
back to  lapses in  their practices  of meditation,  worship, prayer,  and the
healthy self-examination such disciplines foster.  All of us know this, but in
the busyness  of giving  out, we  can easily neglect  the replenishing  of our
spiritual reservoirs.

 Daily  disciplines are  important,  of course,  but  I've found  that  for me
they're not enough.  God gave Israel not  merely one hour a day  but one day a
week, several weeks a year, and even one year every seven to break the pattern
of life long enough to worship and reflect and take stock.

 I periodically take overnight retreats by myself or with my wife. In times of
greater need I've  been away a week,  usually in a cabin on  the Oregon coast.
This is not a vacation but a time in which the lack of immediate demands gives
clarity to the still, small voice  of God so easily drowned in the busyness of
my daily life.

 Guarding my marriage.  I find I must regularly  evaluate my relationship with
my wife.  In particular,  I watch  for the red  flags of  discontentment, poor
communication,  and  poor  sexual  relationship.  We  try  to  spend  regular,
uninterrupted time  together to renew our  spiritual, intellectual, emotional,
and physical closeness.

 Many  Christian leaders  move so  freely  and deeply  in the  world  of great
spiritual truths  and activities  that unless  they take pains  to communicate
daily, their spouses get left out.
 This development  of two separate worlds  leads to two separate  lives and is
often the first step toward an adulterous affair with "someone who understands
me and my world."
 Communication is key because every adultery begins with a deception, and most
deceptions begin  with seemingly innocent  secrets, things  "my spouse doesn't
need to know."
 At   work,   I   surround   myself   with   reminders  of   my   spouse   and
children--pictures,  drawings, and  mementos. When  traveling, I  make contact
with my wife as often as possible. If I'm struggling with temptation, I try to
be honest and ask for prayer.
 Fierce loyalty to our spouses is also a key; I try to speak highly of my wife
in public and never to downgrade her to others. And I'm careful not to discuss
my marriage problems with anyone of the opposite sex.

 Further, my wife and I avail  ourselves of many of the good books, tapes, and
seminars geared to  improving marriage. When my wife and  I went on a Marriage
Encounter  weekend,  we  were   surprised  to  discover  some  differences  in
perspective that,  if left  unaddressed, could  have caused problems  down the
road.

 Taking precautions. One pastor found his thoughts were continually drawn to a
coworker, more so than to his  wife. After months of rationalizing, he finally
admitted to himself that he was looking for reasons to spend time with her.
 Then his rule of thumb became: I will meet with her only when necessary, only
as long as necessary,  only at the office, and with  others present as much as
possible.  In  time, his  relationship  with  her  returned  to its  original,
healthy, coworker status.

 The questions with which I check myself:
    Do I look  forward in a special  way to     appointments with this person?
Would I     rather see her  than my wife? Do I  seek    to  meet with her away
from my  office in      a  more casual  environment? Do I  prefer      that my
coworkers not know I'm meeting    with her again?
 An affirmative answer to any of these questions is, for me, a warning light.

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