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Strategies to keep from falling 01
- 847
Strategies to keep from falling
Practical steps to maintain your purity and ministry.
-Randy C. Alcorn
출처 http://www.christianity.net/leadership/classics/6L3047.html
Of all the articles Leadership has published, this may be the most
photocopied. We still get requests for it, eight years later, because the
author offered specific, practical steps for handling a common and powerful
temptation.
When we decided to reprint it, we asked Randy what has happened since the
article first appeared. He writes: "I wasn't prepared for the extent to which
this article would strike a resonant chord among pastors and parachurch
workers around the world.
Professors distributed copies to students, missions organizations circulated
it to their fields, pastors quoted sections from the pulpit, radio preachers
read the list of immorality's consequences.
"One pastor left this message on my answering machine: 'Just wanted you to
know that I was on the verge of committing adultery with a woman in my church
when I read your booklet [based on the article]. God used it to get hold of
me. I cut off the relationship and straightened out my life before tragedy
struck. I just wanted to say thanks.'"
"Something terrible has happened." The tense voice was my friend's, calling
from across the country.
"Yesterday our pastor left his wife and ran off with another woman."
I was sad, but not shocked or even surprised.
Fifteen years ago I would have been shocked. Ten years ago I would have been
surprised. But I've heard the same story too many times now ever to be
surprised again.
I recently spoke on sexual purity at a Bible college. During that week, many
students came for counseling, including three I'll call Rachel, Barb, and Pam.
Rachel got right to the point: "My parents sent me to one of our pastors for
counseling, and I ended up sleeping with him." Later the same day, Barb, a
church leader's daughter, told me through tears, "My dad has had sex with me
for years, and now he's starting on my sisters." The next evening I met with
Pam. Her story? "I came to Bible college to get away from an affair with my
pastor."
For every well-known Christian television personality or author whose
impropriety is widely publicized, there are any number of lesser-known
pastors, Bible teachers, and parachurch workers who quietly resign or are
fired for sexual immorality. Most of us can name several. The myth that
ministers are morally invulnerable dies slowly, however, even in the face of
overwhelming evidence. But there never has been a mystical antibody that makes
us immune to sexual sin. Even those of us who haven't fallen know how fierce
is the struggle with temptation.
Furthermore, ministry brings with it serious built-in hazards, moral land
mines that can destroy us, our families, and our churches. Among them: our
position of influence and that strange blend of ego-feeding flattery and
debilitating criticism, which can fill us with either pride or despair. As a
result, our perspective can be warped, our resistance to temptation
diminished.
In addition, our endless tasks and the consequent disorienting fatigue can
make us oblivious to what's really happening to us.
I recall with embarrassment my naivete as a young pastor. Every time I heard
the stories of Christian leaders falling into sexual sin, I thought,It could
never happen to me.
What level of pride is required to believe that sexual sin could overtake
Samson, David ("a man after God's own heart"), Solomon, and a host of modern
Christian leaders, but notme? Paul's warning in 1 Corinthians 10 deserves a
prominent place on our dashboards, desks, or Day-Timers: "If you think you are
standing firm, be careful that you don't fall."
Fortunately, I wised up. The person who believes he or she will never be
burglarized leaves doors and windows open and cash on top of the dresser.
Likewise, the one who thinks the danger isn't real invariably takes risks
that wind up proving costly. I now live with the frightening but powerfully
motivating knowledge that Icould commit sexual immorality. I started taking
precautions tokeep it from happening to me.
Monitoring my spiritual pulse. Often those who fall into sexual sin can point
back to lapses in their practices of meditation, worship, prayer, and the
healthy self-examination such disciplines foster. All of us know this, but in
the busyness of giving out, we can easily neglect the replenishing of our
spiritual reservoirs.
Daily disciplines are important, of course, but I've found that for me
they're not enough. God gave Israel not merely one hour a day but one day a
week, several weeks a year, and even one year every seven to break the pattern
of life long enough to worship and reflect and take stock.
I periodically take overnight retreats by myself or with my wife. In times of
greater need I've been away a week, usually in a cabin on the Oregon coast.
This is not a vacation but a time in which the lack of immediate demands gives
clarity to the still, small voice of God so easily drowned in the busyness of
my daily life.
Guarding my marriage. I find I must regularly evaluate my relationship with
my wife. In particular, I watch for the red flags of discontentment, poor
communication, and poor sexual relationship. We try to spend regular,
uninterrupted time together to renew our spiritual, intellectual, emotional,
and physical closeness.
Many Christian leaders move so freely and deeply in the world of great
spiritual truths and activities that unless they take pains to communicate
daily, their spouses get left out.
This development of two separate worlds leads to two separate lives and is
often the first step toward an adulterous affair with "someone who understands
me and my world."
Communication is key because every adultery begins with a deception, and most
deceptions begin with seemingly innocent secrets, things "my spouse doesn't
need to know."
At work, I surround myself with reminders of my spouse and
children--pictures, drawings, and mementos. When traveling, I make contact
with my wife as often as possible. If I'm struggling with temptation, I try to
be honest and ask for prayer.
Fierce loyalty to our spouses is also a key; I try to speak highly of my wife
in public and never to downgrade her to others. And I'm careful not to discuss
my marriage problems with anyone of the opposite sex.
Further, my wife and I avail ourselves of many of the good books, tapes, and
seminars geared to improving marriage. When my wife and I went on a Marriage
Encounter weekend, we were surprised to discover some differences in
perspective that, if left unaddressed, could have caused problems down the
road.
Taking precautions. One pastor found his thoughts were continually drawn to a
coworker, more so than to his wife. After months of rationalizing, he finally
admitted to himself that he was looking for reasons to spend time with her.
Then his rule of thumb became: I will meet with her only when necessary, only
as long as necessary, only at the office, and with others present as much as
possible. In time, his relationship with her returned to its original,
healthy, coworker status.
The questions with which I check myself:
Do I look forward in a special way to appointments with this person?
Would I rather see her than my wife? Do I seek to meet with her away
from my office in a more casual environment? Do I prefer that my
coworkers not know I'm meeting with her again?
An affirmative answer to any of these questions is, for me, a warning light.
